November 5, 2025

Happy Birthday Annette,

On these special days I find myself reflecting on the history of our relationship and life together. I have been so very lucky to have shared and celebrated with you more than 40 of your birthdays, yet also so very unlucky that I no longer can. While the pain is not as acute as it once was, it is still a constant companion; a recognition that the world and my life will never be as it was when you were in it. I cannot always predict when the heavier grief episodes will strike, but there is always a heightened sense of loss and sadness on days such as this. It’s important for me to lean into and move through these feelings and then focus on gratitude and the beautiful memories I have of you. This is what I’m doing today. In fact, as I was writing this letter, I took a break to look through and select some photos of you to share. That was several hours ago. The pictures generated so many memories and tears, and I couldn’t stop looking at more of them and remembering. I kept seeing your smile and thinking about all we have done, how we learned to be better for each other and grow closer over the years and decades, and it made me smile.

It also reminded me that being alive was never your goal, Annette, but living was. As I’ve mentioned before, you were one of the most purpose-driven people I knew. There were so many things you still wanted to accomplish. Traveling, learning, helping, volunteering, caring, growing. Though I may not do these exactly as you would, I find these are increasingly important to me, especially since your death. I wish to celebrate and honor your life by living mine in a way that would make you proud. In this way, you will always live within me.

I write these letters to you because it is an important way for me to mourn, to relieve the pain and sadness, and to reflect on the impact you had on my life. I post these for others to read because being vulnerable helps me open my heart wider and let some of the pain escape, and for love to enter. It’s a way to focus less on what I have lost and more on the incredible love I will always have for you and for life. By being authentic, I am hopeful that others will understand and appreciate how important each moment is that they share with others. Your death makes me appreciate these so much more than I ever have. Human connection, I believe, is the reason we exist. I hope that everyone will feel as lucky and as grateful as I do, despite—or perhaps even because of—the pain and suffering we will inevitably experience in our lives.

And while this letter is reflective in nature, it is living in the present that brings me the greatest joy, Annette. This past year I have traveled to amazing places, assisted with important efforts, shared wonderful experiences with others, and have made new and grown established friendships. These give my life meaning and purpose. I am so grateful for all those who are in my world and have helped me along my journey.

Happy Birthday my dear best friend. Thank you for loving me.

Your Soulmate,

David